My name is Danny. I began a false conversion at the age of eight and continued to believe I was saved for 22 years. No one in the church ever discussed what it meant to be a true Christian or what it meant to repent and die to myself. I had no clue of what what being born again was all about. I lived in a lifestyle of sin, blind and unrepentant- not to mention how lukewarm my Christianity was. I may have lived a sinful life, but make no mistake, I would have told you I was better than most. I still thought I was good enough to make it to heaven.
Throughout ’93 and ’94 I was confronted by God and I started examining myself and looking at how useless my “religion” was. Then finally (in my shower of all places) my eyes were opened to my crimes against God- I had violated his 10 commandments, over and over, too many times to count even in my short life, and it all came rushing at me all at once. I saw myself as a truly wretched sinner. I wasn’t good enough any more. There was nothing I could say or do to make up for the things I had done.
I was a liar, the color of the lie didn’t matter any more; I was a thief, God did not care how small the item was. My mind raced through some of the other commandments; I had broken them all in spirit if not in letter.
I deserved Hell for my crimes, I finally realized that, but the many years spent playing a Christian also lead me to my salvation. I knew God was angry with me for rebelling against Him, but I also knew that He was a merciful God, able to save even the most hardened soul.
I remembered that every Easter and Christmas we celebrated a man who came to this earth who claimed to be God himself in human form. Who came to die a horrible death to take the punishment for what I had done. Until that day, I had just blown that part off.
I remembered that it was Jesus Christ that came and took Gods wrath on Himself so that I could have eternal life- I deserved that cross. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I could not stand up anymore. I was sobbing, on my knees begging Him to forgive me. Telling Him how sorry I was for the evil I now saw inside myself. His death now seems so precious to me, such a loving sacrifice.
In that day, He saved me. I repented that very moment, I turned from my sin, and I put my faith in His finished work alone for my salvation. I died to myself that day, I gave up my life to Him and surrendered. Do with me what you will, my life is now yours. I am still a sinner, I am still at war with this flesh, but if I sin, it is against my will. A true Christian may fall into sin, but they don’t willingly dive in.
In the coming weeks I discovered what it meant to be born again. I was given a new heart, with new desires. The old man that I once was- was dead, a new man was in his place. One that loves God and strives to be more like Him. I longed to read His word, I wanted to follow His commandments, not to get right with God, but out of love for what He already did for me.
But sadly what I started to see in our churches was more of the same mess that lead me to be a false convert in the first place. As I read God’s word and grew in Christ, I saw more and more of a problem with the message that was being presented. I judged the lessons I was being taught against the scripture I was reading and it alarmed me. I tried to speak up to my pastor, the youth pastor, my friends and others, but I was disappointed with the reaction I received.
So, I started this blog to address the issues I had problems with. I had learned so much from so many godly teachers, just not anyone in my area. I want to share with you what I see in scripture and what I find in the people I meet when I talk with them. I hope that you will judge everything that you read here by scripture.
And let me know if you think I am off somewhere, I am not perfect, and I value your comments!
–Danny
...Say What?? 